Thursday, November 11, 2010

Living life for me...

Recently, I have been experiencing some "rockiness" in my own personal life. I have been seeking words of wisdom through the ones that I love.  The endless support I have received is amazing.  My point of blogging about this, is not to air my dirty laundry, but to speak of the lessons learned.  


As I go through this time, I realize I still have a responsibility to work with my students while maintaining an up beat demeanor.  When they walk in the door from school I wonder how I can even begin to pick myself up, considering how I feel.  I do not think that I can find the strength within to smile or give anything of myself.  Then, we interact.  My weakness instantly turns to strength and my hopelessness disintegrates.   Surprised by my actions, I have begun to form some conclusions.  One, is these girls bring absolute joy into my life.  Their smiling faces, silliness, and excitement make me genuinely happy.  I enjoy being around them, hearing their view on life, and watching as they grow into wonderful people.  The fact that I can be a part of their lives for a short time is such a blessing and something I do not take lightly.


Another aspect to consider is what each child has been through.  Everyone has a different walk of life, and we never know what they have experienced because we have not lived their journey.  I know for certain that these kids have been challenged with much worse then I have ever endured.  What I am going through is nothing compared to the pain and hurt these girls have charged through.  How they continue to live everyday, leaves me in awe.  This inspires me to press through and keep being me.  


Final thought, nothing in life is forever or concrete.  I realize now that the life I once thought I would lead is no longer.  This hurdle allows me to reevaluate, look into myself, and for once live for me.  Through this I can understand what I want out of life, and do it.  The rest of this year is devoted to complete soul searching, discovering what truly brings me joy, and living my life to the fullest.  I refuse to let anyone bring me down, and I will continue to surround myself with uplifting, inspiring people.

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