The beginning of the end

I often wonder when things end and others begin

When does the earth stop and heaven start?

How do snowflakes take place of autumn leaves?

Where does your body end and mine begin?

A death lives on in a beating heart

A voice echoes after it has spoken

A kiss remains on single lips

First love is engraved in a soul for a lifetime

Happily ever after is a dream

In the realness lies beauty

Imperfect masterpiece on smeared canvas

Colors greeting one another, no ending no beginning 

Family

Loud collected lives

Milky skin against brown sugar

Looking into young wise eyes

Skateboarding, bike rides, park visits

Childhood snatched, cradling grown infants

Worlds far away

Intertwined on the same sofa

Islands are intruded despite warning

Flags plotted in my heart

Stories tattooed on my soul

Family: related, love, support system

Related through desperation

Love because in need of love

Support thrives in this chaotic system

Mixed colors create a masterpiece

Time is ticking in Paradise

Wow I cant believe that it has been a year(well almost).  When I moved to California, I never realized how much my life has changed.  I left with the ambitions of a young girl from the midwest, I felt innocent but ready to taste adventure of my tongue.  I had an appetite and the courage  to try new experiences and discover who I truly am as an individual.  

Not to say it was all fun and games. Many times I found myself in my tissue box of a room wondering why I moved from everything that was comfortable to me.  I was known in Michigan, I had an identity and a comfort there.  In California I had to fend for myself, remove myself from trouble, make mistakes, and learn important life lessons.  THe more I grow the more I am convinced I could not have learned these same lessons at home. We, as individuals, need to step out of our cocoon and figure out what this life means to us. Whether it is spiritual, emotional, social, on whatever level, to whatever degree, I urge you to take that journey of discovery.


On a more emotional note, I do not know how I will leave the wonderful girls that I discuss on this blog.  To say that they mean a lot to me, would not do them justice.  They have opened my eyes to a world of problems that many people face today and they demonstrate encouragement as they continue to press on.  This house has become my home and these strangers have become my family. They adopted me into their crazy world and I am forever grateful.  Saying goodbye, will be the hardest obstacles to overcome of them all. I know with a goodbye, comes a new life, a new adventure, a new journey....

The Rescue

The Rescue Video


A friend introduced me to this singer/song writer... Tyler Ward.  I loved this video and was honestly inspired.  Everyone often has their own interpretation of music.  I think we can all conclude that everyone needs to be rescued...


but what do you need to be rescued from?  What burdens do you carry?


Everyone has something holding them back, so what inspires you to get through, to continue moving and keep living?

Why don't you sit right down and stay awhile?

I understand it has been awhile since I have posted.  There is truly no excuse to why it has been months since my last post.  To say I have been busy is an understatement but, I want to take a moment and express some of the changes and accomplishments that I have encountered. 

I have gathered so much and grown as an individual through this journey.  Liz Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray, Love, discusses a concept entitled "The Physics of the Quest".  She states that: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting... and set out on a truth seeking journey, either internally or externally.  If you are willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone on that journey as a teacher.  If you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."


That concept is one that resonates because the idea that moving myself far from my roots definitely serves as life altering. I have encountered important teachers in the classroom of life and overcome numerous realities about myself.  I have struggled both internally and externally as I begin to understand more about my purpose within this life. Not to mention, having these kids crawl into my heart and take my breath away everytime I look into there eyes is simply priceless.  This makes me realize it is not all about me, it rarely is.

As I continue to grow I realize more and more that my beautiful picture of what life is, is not the picture that many carry in there back pockets. I have been blessed with a life of few hiccups and for that I am grateful.  Learning to love and accept what you have been given is challenging.  Understanding to live freely is another life lesson that my girls have taught.  Most of them do not carry the prettiest pictures instead, many hold suitcases filled with unwanted pasts.  Despite their cargo, each day they are able to smile and laugh.  They have the ability to forgive and live freely, something many yearn for.  


I wish I could stay in my now lavender painted room forever. I have come to love these girls.  I have cared for them when they are sick, I have wiped their tears. I miss their presence when they are not home, they are on my mind and in my heart constantly.  These girls are my life. But I understand that r some ventures are meant to be brief.  This experience has changed me forever and I will continue to grow within my last months here.


Until next time....(I promise I wont take as long)

Evolve, Create....

The other day, my coworker and friend invited me to "create" with her.  She had presented me with a canvas, something I had no idea what to do with.  As my paintbrush hit the blank canvas, I began to create my own definition of art.  I am no Monet, but I have realized that there is an artist within.  Everyone has the ability to create.  It is up to that individual to use their gift and present what they have to offer to the world.  Here is my first canvas, I hope you enjoy.  

"In the future everyone is an artist because it is in these days that we realize that each of us is a creator"




                          

Living life for me...

Recently, I have been experiencing some "rockiness" in my own personal life. I have been seeking words of wisdom through the ones that I love.  The endless support I have received is amazing.  My point of blogging about this, is not to air my dirty laundry, but to speak of the lessons learned.  


As I go through this time, I realize I still have a responsibility to work with my students while maintaining an up beat demeanor.  When they walk in the door from school I wonder how I can even begin to pick myself up, considering how I feel.  I do not think that I can find the strength within to smile or give anything of myself.  Then, we interact.  My weakness instantly turns to strength and my hopelessness disintegrates.   Surprised by my actions, I have begun to form some conclusions.  One, is these girls bring absolute joy into my life.  Their smiling faces, silliness, and excitement make me genuinely happy.  I enjoy being around them, hearing their view on life, and watching as they grow into wonderful people.  The fact that I can be a part of their lives for a short time is such a blessing and something I do not take lightly.


Another aspect to consider is what each child has been through.  Everyone has a different walk of life, and we never know what they have experienced because we have not lived their journey.  I know for certain that these kids have been challenged with much worse then I have ever endured.  What I am going through is nothing compared to the pain and hurt these girls have charged through.  How they continue to live everyday, leaves me in awe.  This inspires me to press through and keep being me.  

Final thought, nothing in life is forever or concrete.  I realize now that the life I once thought I would lead is no longer.  This hurdle allows me to reevaluate, look into myself, and for once live for me.  Through this I can understand what I want out of life, and do it.  The rest of this year is devoted to complete soul searching, discovering what truly brings me joy, and living my life to the fullest.  I refuse to let anyone bring me down, and I will continue to surround myself with uplifting, inspiring people.