Stuck inside

I am stuck inside myself. A broken compass being kicked and shattered. I miss sunshine and adventure, to me the grass is greener when there is no snow

But our fantasy ejected, cut by scissors with jagged edges. Like a bubble being popped by an eager finger. The film that protected us.... Gone and we are free falling.
He sits in a chair packing hope inside his pipe and breathing in illusions of contentment. I run far and get nowhere, eat nothing and diminish to mold into an image of happiness

I remember when we believed in fairy tales and togetherness came with laughter. Now we have stopped trusting in the pixie dust. Instead we are surviving... Checking for signs of life... A pulse, a slanted step, a crooked smile. Telling ourselves the lies that will get us through our next breath. It will be okay, only a short time, we will be together soon. How many months can I go without my heart? Ripped from my ribs and placed in a pocket. Carried 1000 miles away, covered in tears.

 Until we meet again and I can fit in him like a puzzle piece. When my smile finds comfort on my face. When the color glazes my cheeks and my spirit sprinkles my eyes. when we can inhale our truth and exhale our demons. Maybe then I will begin believing in happy ever after.

Flying

                                   Dear God, Make me a bird so I can fly far far away from here

                                                           Haven't you always wanted to fly....

Wonderment

I created this poem the other day. I believe that sometimes we loose sight of who we are and what we stand for. I was having one of those days in which I was over exposed, over indulged, overly exhausted with outside messages. I finally sat down, and thought about what I believe and what I want out of life. Although this poem is nothing monumental, it has begun a spark in me to continue to search for the answers and always be certain on what I truly believe in.

Me
My dream is to be different

I crave to be unique

My wish is to set footprints 

While helping the voiceless to speak

Defined as a free spirit

With my wings I will fly

I don't care what others think

I just hope to thrive

For my work is not for them

It is for the one above

I want to make Him smile 

And always spread His love

I march to my own drum

I take the path less wondered

But where I will end up

My faith is that I'll be stronger

The beginning of the end

I often wonder when things end and others begin

When does the earth stop and heaven start?

How do snowflakes take place of autumn leaves?

Where does your body end and mine begin?

A death lives on in a beating heart

A voice echoes after it has spoken

A kiss remains on single lips

First love is engraved in a soul for a lifetime

Happily ever after is a dream

In the realness lies beauty

Imperfect masterpiece on smeared canvas

Colors greeting one another, no ending no beginning 

Family

Loud collected lives

Milky skin against brown sugar

Looking into young wise eyes

Skateboarding, bike rides, park visits

Childhood snatched, cradling grown infants

Worlds far away

Intertwined on the same sofa

Islands are intruded despite warning

Flags plotted in my heart

Stories tattooed on my soul

Family: related, love, support system

Related through desperation

Love because in need of love

Support thrives in this chaotic system

Mixed colors create a masterpiece

Time is ticking in Paradise

Wow I cant believe that it has been a year(well almost).  When I moved to California, I never realized how much my life has changed.  I left with the ambitions of a young girl from the midwest, I felt innocent but ready to taste adventure of my tongue.  I had an appetite and the courage  to try new experiences and discover who I truly am as an individual.  

Not to say it was all fun and games. Many times I found myself in my tissue box of a room wondering why I moved from everything that was comfortable to me.  I was known in Michigan, I had an identity and a comfort there.  In California I had to fend for myself, remove myself from trouble, make mistakes, and learn important life lessons.  THe more I grow the more I am convinced I could not have learned these same lessons at home. We, as individuals, need to step out of our cocoon and figure out what this life means to us. Whether it is spiritual, emotional, social, on whatever level, to whatever degree, I urge you to take that journey of discovery.


On a more emotional note, I do not know how I will leave the wonderful girls that I discuss on this blog.  To say that they mean a lot to me, would not do them justice.  They have opened my eyes to a world of problems that many people face today and they demonstrate encouragement as they continue to press on.  This house has become my home and these strangers have become my family. They adopted me into their crazy world and I am forever grateful.  Saying goodbye, will be the hardest obstacles to overcome of them all. I know with a goodbye, comes a new life, a new adventure, a new journey....

The Rescue

The Rescue Video


A friend introduced me to this singer/song writer... Tyler Ward.  I loved this video and was honestly inspired.  Everyone often has their own interpretation of music.  I think we can all conclude that everyone needs to be rescued...


but what do you need to be rescued from?  What burdens do you carry?


Everyone has something holding them back, so what inspires you to get through, to continue moving and keep living?